just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
