I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
