im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
