I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
