their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
