I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I touched a dick in church today
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
