Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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