at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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