so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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