he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My penis needs a shock collar
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
