You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
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