im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
