he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
