He is an equal opportunity slut.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We have started to decorate penises.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
