He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
