If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
