Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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