I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
