I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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