I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
