i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
