She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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