K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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