I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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