She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
