About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
