I can text with my tongue
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
