Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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