i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
