A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
