im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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