I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
