If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
