My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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