Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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