What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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