so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Alive.
So much puke
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
