And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
