did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
