and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
