so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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