People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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