i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
