wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
