i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
