I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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