Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
