She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
