She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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