Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
