terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
