Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
