its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize