Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
